I had a good talk with mak just now.

She said I have changed. Not the ina I use to be. I’m now rina, the one with the vicious mouth.

The only other person I can believe other than chubby is mak. Maybe I have?

I know I’m no longer the sweet innocent slenger submissive girl I use to be. Because of the situations I’ve been in and gone thru I’ve become a very defensive person.

Is tat no good?

So today after a long time , I prayed. Prayed to become ina again. Prayed to become ina the one tat loves her mother very much so much so tat she’s afraid of lying to her. Ina tat accepts her fate and took it with stride and went thru all the shits without a fight and being defensive.

Ya allah ya tuhan ku, hanya kau yang maha mengetahui keperitan hidupku. Berikanlah aku ketenganan, penuhilah jiwaku tengan taufik dan hidayahmu. Bersihkanlah hati ini dari segala sifat dendam dan kebenciaan. Sucikan lah jiwa ku, ya Allah ya tuhan ku yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang. Jadikan lah aku seorang anak, isteri dan ibu yang baik dan solehah.

Rabbana atina fiddunia hasanah wafil akhirati hasana wakina azabannar. Amin.